Saturday, 13 June 2009


As my friend B. would say…that’ll learn ya…(she’s got northern roots)…and it did. All last weeks talk of feeling better than I had in years lasted until Tuesday. The ends of my fingers went numb about four o’clock in the afternoon. I had the kids with me, we were going swimming. Quite abruptly the numbness rolled out up my arms and down the legs, ending in the pliers relay on my toes. Swimming was off the menu.

Hey kids, what about we go to the park? I'll sit in the café with a cup of tea, you run around and be children...
Awwwhhh daaad, was the despondent answer.
What about I throw in a treat from the shop, an ice-cream and staying up past bedtime?
How big a treat?
Big as you want.
Hooray! We love Dad!
…who said parenting is difficult? It’s expensive, but it’s not difficult.

By the time we got to the park even lifting the tea cup seemed like an effort (full cream milk…should’ve asked for skimmed) and random pains were shooting through my arms. But then the real hell began…a screaming baby with an un-attentive mother. Really, if you’re going to have a baby that screams could you either show a bit of effort in stopping the noise…or go home. Don’t inflict ear piercing baby on everybody else in the café…My cup of tea was shaking, I was shaking, the whole afternoon was going down the pan.

Things settled down a bit during the evening and I put in a good 12 hour shift in the sleep department. By the morning I was cautiously optimistic. That’s the problem with this relapsing-remitting bit. It lulls you into a false sense of security. I could have sworn I had got over MS last weekend. Completely cured.

But by Friday I was feeling fine and dandy again in time for my Birthday. Cured – ill – cured all in the space of a week. We all went to a nice pub with good food and playground for the kids (why aren’t there more of those?) B. got the drinks in and I sat back confident that all was well with the world. Then the spasms started again. Full on jerky-twitchy-what's-wrong-that-bloke-spilling-his-beer-over-there spasms. That’ll learn me.


  1. Yep, it's a bummer.
    I once woke up numb down my complete right side, very odd, fel like I had half of everything. Fortunately it only lasted a couple of weeks and it's never been back. That was before diagnosis (21 years ago ) but now I get numbness and tingling in my hands and feet inte4rmittently. You kind of get used to it but I still hate it, only once did I resort to steroids.

    I love your writing, it's so easy to read and flows so well. Are you a writer? maybe now's your chance

  2. Ebb, flow, and unpredictability of symptoms sucks. I am totally not a superstitious person, but living with cancer for nine years since age 27, I have begun to think that speaking too optimistically of my condition is a horrible jinx. I'll walk under a ladder and house a black cat before I say that I think things are on the upswing with my tumors.

    blog -