Monday, 28 September 2009


It was accidental but I suffered a malfunction with a couple of injections last month. I loaded one of them inaccurately and it just went phut in its cylinder. The second time it went phut outside the cylinder but inside its cap. The resulting high pressure acted like a hydraulic pump and sent hamster ovaries flying across the room. This flying medicine landed in my daughters open mouth. Her mouth being open in shock because I was screaming "fuck, fuck, fucking hell." I'm hopeful that she has now been immunised against MS and that she doesn't repeat the phrase at school tomorrow.

I explained all this to Clinical Research. (the malfunction - not swearing in front of my 7 year old) ok they said that's two shots wasted.

Well I wouldn't go that far I said. They weren't wasted, they were just...not....successful.

That is what we'd call wasted said Clinical Research. You have wasted them

Wasted sounds intentional I said This was more a case of premature injection. It can happen to anyone.

New Nurse was unsympathetic. Wasted she wrote in her report.
And so it was. I guess it's all a case of semantics. Once upon a time I used to buy drugs and then take them to get wasted. Now I'm given drugs and when I fail to take them, they're wasted.

1 comment:

  1. It's a pity when the medical establishment, ostensibly engaged in a "healing" profession, seems to respect the chemicals more than they respect the patient.

    But I must say, I will definitely be including "flying hamster ovaries" in my vocabulary from now on.