The terrorist within

Why is it always a surprise? It shouldn't be really - it happens often enough. But its the same every time. For some reason after two or three weeks without any sign of the ms its just a complete outrage when it reappears. Of course you don't really think it's gone...but you can never really remember what it feels like to have that numbness creep down your arms until it creeps down your arms. At that point I tend to say...aahhhh there you are.

Or am I'm beginning to personalise the ms too much? Shouldn't I remain in defiant anger with it? I should of course refuse to negotiate with it until it withdraws completely from my body. Or perhaps it's time to talk to it. I could demand a phased withdrawal from my arms (the ms equivalent of disarmament) before I would discuss terms for peace. Of course I would have to agree not to inject hamsters whilst discussions took place. There would be an agreement to allow an MRI scan under the watch of UN monitors. There would then be much diplomatic coming and going (probably in Norway) whilst we agreed the terms for a ceasefire. But then no doubt one of us would break the conditions. Some rogue element would remain in my hands ready to attack....and would I really trust it enough decommission my syringes? Surely I'd keep some in hiding at the back of the fridge.

Maybe I am taking this too personally after all.